My Back Pages

I usually have a song running in my mind.

I don’t focus on the meaning of lyrics; instead, I capture the feeling.

Feelings matter more than meaning. Bob Dylan made that point in his Nobel acceptance speech:“Whether lyrics are ‘literature’ matters less than the emotional impact they carry…if a song moves you, that’s all that’s important.”

Recently, his 1964 song My Back Pages came up on a Spotify playlist. The refrain has stuck with me for years:

“Ah, but I was so much older then, I’m younger than that now.”

What did he mean?

I’m not sure; but it imparts new feelings today.

In my 20s and 30s, I was driven by Goals, Discipline, and Results. I felt I was in control; the architect of my future. I formed opinions quickly and didn't hesitate to act. 

“But I was so much older then!”

The passing years change more than our looks!

I’m not as quick to form opinions these days. When someone expresses a strong one, I think, “Maybe so, but maybe not.”

Things that were important before don't matter as much to me. What counts now are Presence, Acceptance, and Kindness. I’m not very good at them, but I’m working on it.

These days, I pay more attention to synchronicities; occurrences that are too apropos to be driven solely by chance.

One happened when I heard the song. We were touring the perimeter of the lake on our pontoon boat when the Byrds’ rendition of My Back Pages came on the stereo. At that very moment, the tree pictured at the top of this page came into view.

One half red, and the other green, like our lives; one part being and the other what we’ve become.

There was a time in my life when becoming was more important than being.

"I’m younger than that now!"

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