Passages Vol. 1: The Meaning of Everyday Words

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It took a while to get through this luminous book. Not because it was lengthy or difficult, but because it was rich, like flourless chocolate cake. Rather than rushing to the end, I savored it and was rewarded with reminders of the deeper beauty of paying attention to details.

I chose four words that Whyte mined for underlying meaning: Despair, Destiny, Silence, and Unconditional. They appeared to be linked; despair leading to healing, destiny shaped by perspective, silence restoring health, and unconditional; our highest standard of attention.

Passages from the book are captured in indented italics, followed by my thoughts and reflections.

Despair

We give up hope when certain particular wishes are no longer able to come true and despair is the time in which we both endure and heal, even when we have not yet found the new form of hope.

When we no longer feel imprisoned by time, and the season is allowed to turn, despair cannot survive.

Back in November 2023, we traveled to Portland, Oregon, for the birth of our 2^nd grandchild. While there, our son Daniel had a hemorrhagic stroke. He spent four months in three different hospitals and rehab facilities. We had no idea when or how we would make the long trip back to Minneapolis.

It was a time of despair.

It was also a time of learning. When we endure, healing often follows. This difficult period was the fountainhead for the development of a new personal practice that has brought me peace in subsequent hard times: Stop, Accept, and Renew.

Destiny

…we may miss the everyday conversational essence of destiny: our future influenced by the very way we hold the conversation of life itself; never mind any actions we might take or neglect to take. Two people, by looking at the future in radically different ways have completely different futures…

The world isn’t what it is; rather, it is as we are. Perspectives shape our lives.

A famous quote attributed to Abraham Lincoln states: "Most folks are about as happy as they make up their minds to be…”

I try to remember this.

Many years ago, on an extremely dark day, a colleague who was unaware of my personal struggles asked, “How’s it going?” For some reason, I replied, “Never better!” and then focused my life on making it true.

It worked! One’s perspective is their destiny.

Silence

Real silence puts any present understanding to shame…

In silence, essence speaks to us as essence itself…

Reality met on its own terms demands absolute presence…

Silence acknowledges a reverence for life. I’ve practiced it for many years in sitting meditations and in nature.

Ten years ago, at our son Daniel’s insistence, we traveled to my hometown of Kirkwood, Missouri, to see a total solar eclipse. To me, it seemed like a long walk for a short slide. But he desperately wanted to see the eclipse, so we packed up the car and hit the road.

It was incredible!

Witnessing a total eclipse is like watching a high-speed video of nightfall. The scorching 93 degree day transitioned to night in just a few minutes; Crickets started chirping; a bat flew overhead. We were awe-struck by a 360-degree sunset.

In a word, it was Spiritual.

The bright summer day returned in the same manner it left. The entire event took less than 30 minutes. I was reminded that this beautiful spectacle occurs every day, only slower. I resolved to watch it play out in real time.

As the sun went down on a clear evening at the cabin, I walked out to the end of the dock and put my feet in the water. I didn’t get up until I could see the Milky Way.

It was hard to sit still for so long, but it was beautiful watching the colors fade to darkness, hearing the acapella chorus of bullfrogs, and seeing the Milky Way come into view.

Silence and presence calm the noisy mind.

Unconditional

The invitation is made to us every day whether we desire it or no, to enter a deeply human world of robust vulnerability, shot through with a sometimes joyful, more often difficult helplessness, to risk ourselves in the conditional world in which we live and to accept that there is no possible path we can follow where we will be untouched by the heartbreak, the difficulties, and the joys that move us and move through us, under the beautiful and beautifully conditional guise of love.

Acknowledging that love is married to pain is one of life’s greatest and most difficult lessons. Unconditional love is the gold standard of existence. At times it doesn't seem possible.

Until we try!

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